Warning: Brace yourselves! Super-long post ahead! 🙂
Dear Readers – Up till this point, you’ve been used to reasonably short posts from me (500ish words) where I talk about my experiences and recommendations with certain restaurants, sauces, seasonings, cooking tips, etc., as they pertain to spicy food. Rest assured this will not change! But starting today, once or twice a month, I will be putting out some longer posts like this. These aren’t meant to be diatribes by any means, but like my shorter (and more normal) posts, they will still arm you with the knowledge and tips you need to enhance your spice-driven adventures. These longer points, though, will be on a much broader topic for which a shorter post would not do justice.
As I’d mentioned in my second post, the primary reason I’d started heataholic.com was because it was a great way to help you, my dear readers, by combining three of my loves into one – my love of writing, my love of travel and last, but obviously not the least, my love of SPICY FOOD!
The first and third loves – writing and spicy food have come together in this blog, but till now, we have not discussed the second love as much – my love of travel. As someone who has traveled (and lived) all over the United States, Canada and the world, for that matter, both for work and for pleasure, I’ve had a chance to experience a lot of things that many people have not. And I am always thankful for these experiences.
There’s a quote by an unknown author – “Fill your life experiences, not your things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.” My “stories,” per se, that I tell are my blog posts and often, I do have “stuff to show” (namely, the spicy food I’ve had the pleasure of sampling and fully consuming, with pictures sometimes attached). But those experiences are what have given me the most pleasure and made me who I am, among other things, Heataholic.
During my travels (as of this writing, I’m nearly a million-miler on American, accrued about 400K on United, and nearly 300K on Delta – had to shamelessly brag a little! Like I’ve said, it ain’t bragging if you can back it up!), I’ve experienced so many things (much more good than bad), that it would take me multiple novels to write everything. But, when it comes to food and especially spicy food, those have been experiences of their own. It’s understandable that when you go to a foreign country or even an unfamiliar part of your own country (in my case, the United States), you realize (duh!) that things are different, but sometimes, it is the little things that can make for the wonderful stories you can tell your friends, family members, and of course, your readers. It’s not that you want every place to conform to your familiar settings – after all, then what’s the point of travel? But rather, you want to experience what you love and enjoy in a new and different kind of way.
Mick Jagger and his band of merry Rolling Stones famously said “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just mind – you get what you need!”.
OK, so (one of so many) awesome British band verses aside, what am I driving at here? Well, we all know the former – we go places or get in situations where things don’t go our way. And I’m not talking necessarily about bad or sticky situations – these can be great situations, but one or more things are just not going quite the way you’d like. In this case, there just isn’t enough spicy food or spicy options to placate your fiery taste buds. In my case, I’d not only experience this as a heataholic, but would have a simultaneous challenge to deal with – finding vegetarian (no meat, no seafood since there are different “types” of vegetarians) food. So yes, Mick and Company’s first line certainly applies. But what everyone seems to forget is the latter verse – “If you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need!”
So the first key here (I emphasize the word first, since it is not the only) is you have to try, i.e., you have to look for alternate ways and yes (warning: annoying consulting cliche ahead), you have to think OUTSIDE the proverbial box. Yes, I know some of this may seem common sense (as will many other things in this article), but this will help you get good ideas.
In other words: BE CREATIVE!
Key #1 – Be creative
OK, so you need to be creative when it comes to how to get your spicy fix when you’re off-the-beaten-path – either in a restaurant type not known for spicy food or in a part of the U.S. or a foreign country not known for spicy cuisine.
“But how?” you might ask. The answer is – there is no right answer. And it’s the same way I’ve had to be creative when I’m just trying to find something on the menu I can consume, let alone suits my spicy taste buds. The same principles I’ve used when finding vegetarian food at a small-town BBQ joint in the South are the same principles that can be used (vegetarian or other) in finding spicy food in atypical places:
Tip #1 – Don’t take the menu at face value
I’ve found that the overwhelming majority of restaurants in the world tend to have some level of flexibility, especially in today’s modern, digitally connected age with regards to dietary restrictions and popular tastes – some more so than others. Fifteen to twenty years ago, if I’d asked someone in a place like Beaumont, Texas, what vegetarian options they have, they’d give me a blank stare or show me the door or say “well, the cattle that provided our grass-fed beef – they ate vegetables.” Nowadays, it’s not as uncommon. And this holds true for any menu – I’d always ask if they had options for vegetarians, and more often than not, I’d get a response like – “Oh we can make you a veggie plate.” or “There’s a sandwich we can make for you.”
The same holds true for spice. Just because you don’t see a dish or a sauce advertised as “spicy” or “hot” or the like doesn’t mean there isn’t one. Some places may just have a bottle of Tabasco or Cholula. Others may have their own concoction they don’t openly advertise because it’s not asked for much or it’s just not a house specialty. One such example I wrote about in one of my earlier posts was Texican Cafe’s spicy salsa – Texican is not off the beaten path for us Austinites by any means, but to any spice lover, if you don’t openly ask for the spicy salsa, you won’t get it.
Bottom line – Just ask what spicy options there are – what’s the worst they will say – No.
Tip #2 – Be creative with sides, garnish and toppings
This is another way I’ve managed when vegetarian and spicy options are limited. Key examples again are BBQ joints – not the most friendly for vegetarians or spice-lovers. The sides are usually what I go for – I’ll grab something like fried okra or creamed corn. A few of these and I have a full meal. Many BBQ joints have some spicy sauce at their table that people will usually dip their fries or fried okra in – most have Tabasco or Cholula, but some offer things more local. Others will have a toppings bar loaded with potentially spicy offerings like red or white onions, Jalapeno or banana peppers. I’ll usually grab a small saucer-full of those – combine that with my sides and hot sauce – Voila! I’ve got a spicy meal fit for a vegetarian king at a BBQ joint!
The same is true at seafood joints, steakhouses and a whole slew of other restaurants known for neither their vegetarian or spicy options.
Remember:
- YOU and only YOU determine what you want as a meal, so whether you want a main course or a bunch of sides and appetizers or believe dessert should be the main course, that is entirely up to you!
- Don’t underestimate the value of toppings. They’re free for customers at many restaurants and in some cases, may be your spicy salvation.
Tip #3 – Restaurants are not the only place to get food!
Can’t find options at a restaurant? Feel like there’s nowhere that serves good, spicy food? Then make your own! You may even find this is a cheaper option!
That’s right – even in the most remote places, you can find at least a small grocery store or chain that you can buy foodstuff to make your own meal to your liking. Not every place will serve a gourmet smoregasboard, but at least, you will have the chance to eat more of what you want in a way that you will like.
Back in my consulting days of 2007-2008 (before cloud technologies were the norm), I spent a fair amount of time in Davenport, Iowa, often working late nights – so late that by the time I was finished at my client, I had two options – Quiznos and the local Hy-Vee. Quiznos has never been a choice of mine in even the most dire circumstances, but the local Hy-Vee would be open for business. I’d buy things like taco shells and refried beans with spicy Pace Picante sauce or other salsa, and with my hotel microwave, make a nice feast – incidentally, Hy-Vee was cheaper too and I could buy enough food for a week with a day of per-diem, and pocket the rest (what an opportunist!).
Tip #4 – (Use your judgment on this one) Ask the serving staff to make something that suits your desired spice level that either you or they can think up/substitute
This is a tip I would say use at your discretion. This is a tip that could either produce great success or completely blow up in your face. On rare occasions, I would ask the server and cooking staff to take some ingredients and make something unique or do an unorthodox substitution. Every time I’ve done this (mostly from a vegetarian angle)- it’s actually come out quite well. One memory was at a seafood restaurant (place regrettably shut down years ago) where they gave me the spicy cocktail sauce with their hush puppies.
The issue here is that this is really hit or miss. Restaurants, even the most high end, tend to operate on a set of standard operating procedures (SOPs) and even the well-paid chefs have their specialties. While some modifications are normal, having them significantly deviate from these can create confusion or frustration and the end result may not be all that great.
Unless it’s a simple request, like substituting or leaving something out or if you know the people in the kitchen well, I’d highly recommend not using this tip. Be creative yourself as I’d mentioned earlier, but don’t ask others to do it on your behalf. However, with this tip, if you can make it work, more power to you and sometimes, the end result is fantastic!
OK, so by now, anyone who isn’t mind-numbingly bored has come to the conclusion – be creative with what’s there. And that holds true not just for spicy food (or food in general), but with any challenge in life (cue the annoying inspirational music). But what if you knew ahead of time you were going to be somewhere off-the-beaten-path without many, if any, spicy options? What if you could take the effort away from having to think on your feet to satisfy your taste buds?
True, we’re not always in a situation like this – after all, both at home with family, at work with colleagues, and in the presence of friends, deciding where to go eat is often a spur-of-the-moment decision. For times like that, be creative. But for times when you know what you will be up against, I present to you my second key.
BE PREPARED!
Key #2 – Be prepared
One of my good friends in graduate school would always say (he didn’t originate this quote, but it was one he lived by) – “Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.” Great words to live by. But how can you apply it in the context of spicy food?
Tip #1 – Know what you’re up against
First, when you travel, you may not necessarily know the specific restaurant or joint you will go to eat, but the area you are in can definitely give you statistical odds on whether you’d find spicy food or not.
Please note: These are general rules of thumb and are NOT meant to stereotype.
From my own travels, the two general areas where I’ve had the most difficulty finding spicy food (especially from a vegetarian’s point of view):
- Smaller towns, although Louisiana bucks that rule, but this is true nearly worldwide
- Much of Europe, both Western and Eastern – although while its native food is downright awful, the UK is known for having the best Indian food outside of India
Most of Asia, on the other hand, tends to offer lots of selections for a heataholic like yours truly. India is well known for this. Certain regions of China (e.g., Hunan) are well known for the heat in their meals, although different variants of Chinese cuisine each come with their own levels and tpes of spice. Thai food has grown in its ubiquity the last few decades in the Western world with Spicy Pad Thai being as well known as Lo Mein noodles, you’ve got Japanese wasabi, etc.
- Latin America – I’ve only been in Mexico and had my share of spicy food in Cancun and Chichen Itza, but cannot speak to other areas.
- Africa – only been to South Africa, and foreign foods, including those from Asia are widespread in that country – no issues.
- Australia/ New Zealand – never been there.
- Antarctica – ask the Penguins for advice! 🙂
Now that all continents have been covered, you have a general lay of the land. So what? Suppose you know you’re going to a certain part of the world, either for work or for fun, what can you do to prepare?
- Do your online homework before you get there – look up both the restaurants and markets in the area – in and near where you’ll be staying. Don’t just look up the foreign food. Sometimes, even in certain areas, you’ll find local cuisine that happens to have spicy options. As an example, the first time I went to Wroclaw, Poland (my FAVORITE COUNTRY in all of Europe), I found a great burger joint with some spicy sauces called Whiskey in the Jar (I will do a separate post on this in the future). I also found several Thai, Indian and vegetarian restaurants, and there’s a great chain of small corner grocery stores nearly everywhere in that amazing country – Zabka.
- When traveling to foreign countries where English is not the official language, learn how to ask for spicy food. Actually, I recommend more than just this – I recommend learning at least some basic phrases to break the ice with the locals, including the people cooking and handling your food:
- Hello/Good bye/Welcome
- How are you?/I’m doing well
- Please/Thank you/You’re welcome
- Do you accept credit cards?
- Where is the bathroom?
- Airport/Train Station/Bus Station
- Numbers 1 – 10
- ROYGBIV Colors of the Rainbow/Black/Gray/White
- Can you please make this (very) spicy?/Do you have any spicy sauce?
You don’t have to speak like a native, but you will be amazed at how quickly a server will be more likely to help you out and give you just what you want when they see you at least attempt to converse in their native language. Utilize a tool like Babbel or Duolingo to get you going. I can tell you firsthand these apps well worth the money you spend and can make your foreign travel experience a great one.
Don’t make the mistake I did back in the days before Google Translate where I would say “spice” or “pepper” or “red pepper” and they’d bring out either a some black pepper or a small bit of (spiceless) paprika, which just makes your food red. One time, at a pizza place in Koln (Cologne), Germany, I was simply handed a few slices of sweet red peppers on the side.
And don’t blindly trust Google Translate – it translates words and phrases too literally without contextual meaning or regards to conversational vernacular. For example, in German, if you want spicy food, you ask for it “scharf” or “sehr scharf” (very spicy), but the actual German word for spicy is “wuerzig.” “Scharf” literally translated means “sharp” but the connotation with food implies spicy. Again, like your 4th grade teacher told you back in the day – DO YOUR HOMEWORK! But just in case, you need a quick jumpstart, here are a few to get you going:
- German – scharf (pronounced as it’s spelled with an “a” like “hall”)
- Polish – ostry
- Spanish – caliente/picante
- French – epicee (sorry, accents are not included)
Tip #2 – If you can’t bring yourself to the spice, bring the spice to yourself
This is a cheezy paraphrasing of “If you can’t bring Mohammed to the mountain, bring the mountain to Mohammed.” You’re rolling your eyes, I get it! 🙂
But here’s a simple trick – take your favorite spicy condiment – sauce, powder, rub, etc. with you when you travel. “Oh, but who wants to be seen holding a bottle of Tabasco with them?” You don’t have to hold it. Keep it in your backpack or if you’re a female, your purse. And it doesn’t have to be some huge bottle – just a small, travel-size. In my laptop bag, I always keep crushed red pepper packets on hand. Insane???!!! Maybe, but at least I know I’m prepared if I need a spicy fix! 🙂 A former co-worker of mine would take a small bottle of Frank’s hot sauce with him wherever he went. This way, even if your restaurant can’t make the food spicy, you can.
Note: While I have yet to encounter a restaurant that had an issue with this, whenever I’ve needed to do this, just be aware that some restaurants may be strict about any outside food (including small condiments) coming in.
My only advice on this – if you’re flying (either for work or fun), I don’t recommend taking bottles – neither as check-in nor as carry-ons. The former because things can break the way baggage handlers throw bags and as much as you love spicy food, the last thing you’d want is your clothes smelling like it – believe me, I’ve made that mistake before and the smell does NOT come out no matter how many times you wash it! The latter because TSA requirements restrict you to only a small Ziploc bag of liquids and nothing more, and that’s most likely your toiletries anyway, leaving no room for that small bottle of Franks.
So, now you’ve got two strategies to help you out in places and situations, planned or unplanned, when you have to have your spicy fix. And these strategies work in all dietary cases, not just high spice.
But what about when neither strategy is viable for whatever reason? Maybe things are so last minute, maybe you didn’t have time to do any homework, maybe you ran out of that crushed red pepper you brought, maybe it’s been a long hard day and your creative juices aren’t flowing and maybe, there just isn’t anything on the menu that will suit your palette. What do you do?
While it certainly isn’t fun to be in a situation like this, at the end of your rope, there is one thing you can certainly do – you can bang your fists on your dinner table, act mean and be an ornery, unpleasant person nobody wants to be around. Now, I don’t recommend that and neither would those around you, so in cases, like this when all else fails, go for my third key.
BE FLEXIBLE!
Key #3 – Be flexible
Not much explanation needed here, but when all else fails, just chill out and realize that soon enough (like your very next meal), you can get what you want including making all your spicy wishes come true! You want to be known as a fun, quirky person with a penchant for eating spicy foods (or whatever other foods you indulge in). Everyone likes that person and wants to be around them – they have stories to tell and experiences to share. You don’t want to be that high-maintenance individual who throws a fit and is unpleasant to be around when they don’t get their way. No one and I mean NO ONE likes that guy (or gal). Common sense, I know, but in my experience, you will be amazed at how many seemingly bright people don’t get this concept.
Spice is a key part of my diet and my life and it is something I love to enjoy – it’s not something I want to bring me down. I indulge in it whenever I can and wherever I go and I love to share these experiences with you (hence, why I have heataholic.com), but not getting my fiery fix is not something that will dictate my attitude and behavior. And it should never dictate yours.
Hope you’ve enjoyed reading this long post, dear readers.
Enjoy yourselves wherever you go and whatever you do (as long as you’re not harming others).
Spice on, my friends!
